Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo
by norsegodchick13
Summary: Matt tries to rap a Mello version of Flo Rida's Low. Too bad Near's there, and going to tell Mello all about it. R&R.


**This kinda sucks... I dunno, I thought it was a good idea, so, enjoy.**

**I do not own Death Note, Flo Rida, or the song. If I did, why the hell would I be doing this? Honestly?**

**Enjoy and review!**

"He had them tight leather pants,  
>The jacket with the fur (with the fur!)<br>We at Wammy's house all thought he was a her,  
>Next thing you know (next thing you know)<br>He shot my game,  
>Stupid Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

The weird addiction,  
>Mafia affiliation,<br>He glared at me and his chocolate went "CRACK!" (crack!)  
>Crazy fo' sho', (crazy fo' sho')<br>Near was his foe,  
>It was Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

I ain't seen a boy who was sexy like a girl,  
>Eatin' so much chocolate, I'd hurl,<br>Had an evil vibe, and a weird-ass blonde bob too,  
>His eyes were crazy and ice blue,<p>

Tight leather, he was better  
>than an X-box, his sex rocks<br>Hold up a minute, better than an X-box, really? Whoa,

You think you've seen someone like Mello?  
>Ain't the same, this the real Mello,<br>You fangirl? Bitch, he's Mattie's beaux,  
>Second to Near, that true? No,<p>

Imma say I prefer leather clothes  
>I'm into that, not the status quo,<br>He threw my broke game at me, don't care no mo',  
>Cigarettes not enough, I need my Mello<p>

He had them tight leather pants,  
>The jacket with the fur (with the fur!)<br>We at Wammy's house all thought he was a her,  
>Next thing you know (next thing you know)<br>I'm in love,  
>With Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

The weird addiction,  
>Mafia affiliation,<br>He glared at me and his chocolate went "CRACK!" (crack!)  
>Crazy fo' sho', (crazy fo' sho')<br>Near was his foe,  
>It was Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

Hey Mello what I gotta do to get me yours,  
>Don't care 'bout the game,<br>I want you on all fours,  
>Camaro, sex arrow, you'll be explored,<br>And you will be so achin' in the morn,

One shot, come on,  
>Two shot, come on,<br>Three shot, come on, that's my PSP,  
>What, can't stand game playin'? No Mello,<br>Time for me, just wait and see,

That's what I'll tell him, do it on every whim,  
>Our sexy make-love hymn, can see it on the rim,<br>We'll do it while we swim,  
>In our own semen, I'm just on the brim,<br>I'll know every inch, of those pretty limbs,

Mello's hot like a toaster,  
>Crazy sex rollar coaster,<br>BDSM porno poster,  
>I love his<p>

He had them tight leather pants,  
>The jacket with the fur (with the fur!)<br>We at Wammy's house all thought he was a her,  
>Next thing you know (next thing you know)<br>I'm in love,  
>With Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

The weird addiction,  
>Mafia affiliation,<br>He glared at me and his chocolate went "CRACK!" (crack!)  
>Crazy fo' sho', (crazy fo' sho')<br>Near was his foe,  
>It was Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

Whoa, Mello  
>Yeah he's worth a console,<br>He shot my PSP.  
>But that's fine wit' me,<p>

I'll be on it, sexy mafia, into shounen  
>ai, relax, it's not weird, a bromance<br>Crazy bowman! with me you'll be moanin'!

He wouldn't stop, face in the blonde mop,  
>Mello'll do that, and I'll never stop,<br>I'd pay him but I got no guap,  
>He's so fly, just like his glock!<p>

He had them tight leather pants,  
>The jacket with the fur (with the fur!)<br>We at Wammy's house all thought he was a her,  
>Next thing you know (next thing you know)<br>I'm in love,  
>With Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,<p>

The weird addiction,  
>Mafia affiliation,<br>He glared at me and his chocolate went "CRACK!" (crack!)  
>Crazy fo' sho', (crazy fo' sho')<br>Near was his foe,  
>It was Mello, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo,"<p>

"Matt, what the hell are you doing?"

"Near? Wh- You- Why the fuck didn't you knock?" Matt screamed, outraged.

"The door was open."

"Gah! Well, at least Mello's gone." Matt lit a cigarette, and picked up something to throw at the albino kid. A... book. The Gamer's Guide to Cooking, in fact.

"Yeah, but he's practically a mafia lord. He probably has tons of prostitutes all over him right now." Near calmly played with his robot.

"He's loyal to me! I know it!" Matt threw the book as hard as he could, and missed.

"You guys aren't even dating. How can he be-"

"LOYAL! MELLO IS MINE!"

"Don't give yourself an aneurysm. Besides, you're at higher risk, I believe, because you smoke."

"Near, shut up."

"Okay, fine, but I'm telling you, prostitutes."

"Get the fuck out of here!"

Near left. Walking down the hall, he crashed into someone and jabbed the robot into their solar plexus.

"You little _brat_!"

"Oh. Hello, Mello."

"Oh, you think you're so clever because you made that stupid rhyme?"

"No, I was just saying hello. You're quickness to anger maybe the reason you are in second."

"Shut up!"

"Matt told me to shut up too. He also said you wouldn't be fooling around with prostitutes, and seems to assume that because he has a crush on you you're not going to." Near smiled, an evil look in his eyes. "That must be true."

"Damn you, Near!" Mello shouted, taking a bite of chocolate, and storming down to wherever Matt was.

"Mello, you're back-"

"Do you like me?"

"Wh-what?"

Mello had grabbed Matt by the collar, and looked like he was going to shoot the gamer. "Look. I've been real pissed by some idiots, okay? So answer the fucking question. Do. You. Like. Me." The blonde growled.

"Well, yeah, you're a great friend-"

"Idiot, you know that's not what I goddamn meant!"

"Yeah, I do! Don't kill me?"

Mello dropped Matt, who crawled away quickly. Mello bit into his chocolate, which made a loud "SNAP!" and scared the ever-living shit out of Matt.

"Well. Why don't we have sex, then? I'm sure you'll enjoy it. I brought some toys." Mello's expression was evil.

_The next morning_

Matt woke up in pain. Mello was still asleep, with a piece of chocolate on his head.

"Mello?"

"Uh?" Mello sat up. "You bastard, don't wake me up so- Matt. Hi."

"Hi."

They sat next to each other on the floor, naked thighs touching. "Maybe we went... a little too far?"

"Well, it was definitely... interesting. I always imagined I'd be top, to tell you the truth." Matt laughed. Somehow, his goggles had survived.

"BDSM when I just found out you like me isn't that great an idea, I'll give you that."

Good, thought Matt. Mello was a lot more, well, mellow.

"Maybe we could just cuddle, until we're ready to take things more seriously?" Matt suggested, waiting for an acid remark or slap.

"Yeah. That's a good idea." Mello agreed.

"Thank god you're so mellow right now."

Mello raised an eyebrow. "What did you say?"

"Cuddling."

"Right." The two slept next to each other, with Mello's hair up Matt's nose and Matt's goggles forming a mark on the back of Mello's neck.

**Wow, it sucked, right? I dunno. Review.**

**As you can tell, I cannot rap. XD. I actually tried to rap this, but gave up. Mello ends up on top, anyway. That's the thing about this pairing. Who. The. Hell. Is. Seme. And. Uke.**

**So review, and favourite! I don't think I'll continue. Funny thing is, when I write a oneshot, people beg me to continue, when I write a chapter story, they beg me to continue. That's NOT what she said. **

**Review time!**


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